I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
