$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
