you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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