i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
