So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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