Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
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