Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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