Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
