Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
