I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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