Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
