I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
