i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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