shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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