She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
