Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Randomize
