did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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