fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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