this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
