last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
