Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
