She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
