At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
