Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
