the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
