Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
