Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize