Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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