chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Randomize