I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
