In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
