Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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