I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
