Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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