I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
