and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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