They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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