Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize