Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Randomize
