i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
