Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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