I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
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