ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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