The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I need help removing her.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
