It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
