babies were throwing up all over the place
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Randomize
