Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
