I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
