There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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