i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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