did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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