dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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