You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
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