I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
