did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize