I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
