...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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