____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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