He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
