He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Randomize
