giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
