her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
