My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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