Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
How naked do you want me to be?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
