I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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