moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize