I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize