I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
